Today, I’m going to talk about something that’s all the rage – urban camping. It is a global phenomenon that is more popular than planking.
Let’s go over the basics: You will need a sign, a tent or tarp, and that’s about it. Essential to urban camping is the sign. It must protest something like corporations or promote socialism (we still don’t like communism). It cannot protest taxes, government, unions or politicians. It must be vague and easy to chant. It must not make too much sense – otherwise people would question the validity of your protest. It must also be short – if it’s too long, people won’t read it and you will be evicted. It can be something as simple as “Peace!” or “The 99%” or “Hope on the Dope (in the White House)!” or even better “Hope on Dope!” or still better “Legalize Dope!?!” To be credible, the sign should be handmade on either cardboard or a sheet. If it looks too nice, people will assume that you are a poser.
Now that you have a sign, you just need something to sleep under. Unlike the sign, the tent or tarp isn’t that important. If you don’t have one, don’t worry – just find someone with one and ask them to share. If they refuse, accuse them of being elitist and a 1 percenter. That should scare them into letting you sleep in their tent.
Now, the big question is why become an urban camper. The easiest answer is because it’s there. You get to experience the feeling of actual camping while really sleeping on concrete. You get to thumb your nose at the environment – you don’t need no stinking fresh air, groves of trees, or woodland animals to have fun. You can get it all in front of city hall or a bank or a plaza.
I suggest you give it the ole college try. Remember though, just like in a national forest, you should put your poop in a bag and take it with you when you leave. Or, just use the Starbucks around the corner.
No thanks. I think I’m satisfied just reading about the “urban campers” in the news.
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